Today was an exhibit opening for a show that students in a class of mine put up. We had a dedicated space, and we adapted the room to our purpose. I don't really want to talk about the show or how we barely pulled things together- I want to talk about my emotions.
I was feeling very good during set up. Getting our computers running, setting out food, sweeping a bit more, getting the guestbook out- everything went just fine and I felt quite wonderful. 
Then, people started filtering in. They talked to some of the other students and they looked at the work, but a lot of them were just family members or friends. I started to feel sick. I wanted to go sit in the bathroom and just curl up, maybe even cry a bit. It was a sudden onset of depression. How did I ever think that I could present my work? Why did I think anyone would take me seriously? Did I honestly expect my work to be worth someone's time? To give them back enough for the effort they could put into it?
I didn't know what to do. I almost wanted to tear my work down and just take it home.

The night got better. People started talking to me. I got compliments, some forced, some genuine. I had conversations with people I'd never met before about how they were feeling at home in my space- it was nice. The depression faded.
I know that I won't forget the good things about this opening, but what I'll really remember is that awful, horrible, uncertain, questioning feeling. 
It's what reminds me that I'm not an "artist", I'm just a person.
 
 
A-hem. This mother's day I went to visit my granny with my mother and my siblings. I only took a few pictures with my mother and my granny, but my siblings and I went to a park behind my Granny's house, and I took A BLOAD of pictures on the swings, etc. So, uh, happy mother's day, and um, BWOOSH.
 
 
I've been experimenting with photographing the sky during the day and night, and apparently what I'm doing at night actually has a name: ASTROPHOTOGRAPHY. Bwoosh, innit?
I'm waiting on a twenty minute exposure, and it's getting cold out, and the rose bush by my house keeps making weird noises.
 
 
I just found some old pictures on a flash drive I thought I had lost. The pictures were taken during a family gathering at our tree farm.
Yep.